“phew…”

“…For a minute there I lost myself,” says Thom Yorke.  I take that sentiment personally to the feet of Jesus this New Year’s Day.

Without elaborating on 2010, may 2011 be one of:

1.  Hearing to the One True Voice more clearly (I mean really hearing it…not just listening but hearing it).

2. Moving to the rhythm of God (not just going the motions of the short-cut pathway; actually trusting that God does NOT need me to do what it is that he is doing – rather, he wants me and everyone else to partake, co-create and collaborate).

3. Being okay with being (turning away from doing – because far too often I’m contented to do).

4. Entering into Christ’s hopes. (listening for his voice, listening for his will; and being completely embracing of that, no matter what).

5. Imagining new dreams. (This one is my final hope…and this is my greatest prayer/hope).

Recently I have been scratching at anything and everything to find my voice.  When I’m at a loss for creativity I panic within. When I’m dry inside or lacking a lot of clarity in my heart, I pray.  Part of that prayer includes a fever-pitched grab for anything that may spark my own mind’s engine.  This is perhaps the worst way to create because fundamentally it is actually a veiled copy.

It’s about as logical as binge-consuming anything when things aren’t going well.  This seems fairly normal and perhaps in our consumer-driven world it is…but neither does it make it healthy nor does it allow the self to be fully expressed.  I’ve been consuming everyone else’s points of view and scotch-taping them to my heart but they don’t stick true to me.  I think God is really allowing me to hear all sorts of viewpoints (this is good) but none of this stuff matters aside from action.  In all the talk, I nearly lost myself…but God has not allowed it.  Good stuff, indeed!

My prayer for 2011 is to trust Christ within me,  creatively speaking. This is a call to everything within that loves life, loves fun, loves hope, love people to create and push forward creatively.  I am most alive when creating…and most holed up when I believe that I’m a number; another body.

My prayer is that 2011 is one where I embrace creatively who I am in Christ.